I get asked this question all the time: “How does divorce interfere with the ability of children to love in their own relationships as adults?”
Gosh, that is such a big question. I always try to answer it. Typically I answer with this information:
- Their adjustment to divorce depends on how he or she has coped with other changes in their lives. A child’s ability to adapt, in general, is one consideration in how well that child will cope with divorce.
- Temperament is also one of the influencers of how a child is able to love in their own relationships as an adult.
- The amount of chaos and the amount of conflict can interfere with a child’s ability to progress developmentally. That certainly is another influence on later relationships.
Oh – there are more answers I give based on my education, experience, and the gobs of longitudinal studies that have been done.
How nerdy of me.
Recently I stumbled upon a better answer to the original question. I want to pass it on to you – out of the mouth of someone who is a child of divorce. This blogger hit the nail on the head in terms of her experience as a child of divorce and how she experiences love differently.
You need to read her blog post if you are:
- A parent who is divorced
- A parent in the process of divorcing
- A parent who is thinking of divorcing
- An adult whose parents have divorced
- You are dating someone whose parents have divorced
Read her words and she will help you understand How You Love Differently When You are A Child of Divorce.
A child of divorce can love – they just love differently.
Knowing this can help. Let me know what you think, even if you disagree, by emailing me at DrFletcher@FletcherPhD.com.
Until next time,